The Great Gatsby Parody
by mizzyhead1122
Summary: Just a silly and very short play based on the charators in the Great Gatsby


The Great Gatsby

Diclaimer: As of yet I cannot claim to have written the Great American Novel therefore Gatsby belongs to the man who has

Notes: This is just a silly parody I wrote one day. It is done in a spirt of humor. I have the upmost love and respect for this book, enjoy!

_Scene: Daisy is sitting on her porch with Nick and Jordan_

Daisy: I'm really intelligent. No, I mean really intelligent, like you wouldn't believe how intelligent I am.

Jordan: Mmmm…

Daisy: And I'm rich too, like I could buy all of you, that's how rich I am.

Tom (off stage): AND YOU'R DRIVING ME CRAZY

Disembodied Voice from across the dock: DON'T YOU DARE INSULT HER

Nick: Did you hear something?

Daisy: No, and I'm really perceptive. It's so hard to be me.

Jordan: I'll bet.

Nick: My Midwestern honesty is offended by you, I also find you titillating, like a bird on the wing of the cold moonlit sky flying ever onward, you skanky slut

Jordan: Wanna go make out?

Nick: Yeah.

Daisy: (Too herself) I'm so popular. I don't know what to do with myself I'm so popular.

Tom: I'VE GOT TO GET OUTTA HERE!

Myrtle walks in a black leather buctea, thigh-highs and a wip: Hey, what's cooking hot stuff?

Gatsby rides by on a unicycle on his head dressed as a Celtic warrior while playing the harmonica singing: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do I'm half crazy…(runs into something heavey)Owww…!

Nick: Half crazy?

Gatsby (still singing) : All for the love of yoooooou! It will be a stylish marriage because now I'm loaded…

Daisy: I'm really hot. And I'm really turning you on. Let's go some where.

Later at the plaza hotel

Tom is tied spread eagle to a door inside a suite, Myrtle is whipping him.

Myrtle: …And I want a car, and a puppy, and botox, and an Ipod…

Tom: You whore!

Tom beats her up using telekinesis, because he is still tied to a door.

Myrtle: I love you.

Tom: I love you too.

Nick (off stage): The course of true love never did run smooth…

Gatsby walks in a bathrobe with Daisy behind him in a negligee.

Gatsby: Hey there are people here, I was suspicious when the plaza was willing to rent by the hour…(knocks over something heavy) Owww!

Tom (still tied up): Daisy, what are you doing? How dare you cheat on me!

Gatsby: It's because I'm black isn't it?

Tom: He's black! The horror!

Jordan, suddenly appearing, highly disheveled with Nick in toe: You're not black.

Nick: But we can't believe a word you say, can we! You lying cheater!

Jordan: Oh baby I'm sorry.

Nick: I will never respect you again.

Jordan: Can we still hookup sometimes?

Nick: Yeah.

Jordan: Then that's fine.

Gorge Wilson: Why am I here?

Nick: Plot hole.

Jordan: How did you know that?

Nick laughing evilly: Oh you don't know? Come on, narrator, educated, son of moderately well to do, parents in the Midwest? I'm F. Scott Fitzgerald. I put myself In the book to make sure you all didn't get out of hand, but you did, and now I have to end it all! (Takes out a gun and begins to wave it wildly)

Gatsby: You could hurt Daisy! (Lunges at Nick, misses and hits the wall.)

Daisy: You tried to save me! (Runs to him)

Gatsby (singing quietly, almost out of breath to tune of "Little Fall of Rain"): Don't you fret Miss Daisy, I don't feel any pain, a hard brick wall, can hardly hurt me now, (to the tune of "All I Ask of You") Daisy I looooooveeee yooooouuuuu!

Daisy (getting up and grabbing a gun that is conveniently lying on the ground, funny no one noticed it before.): You bastard, you lied to me Nicky, you lied to me! (Shots Nick)

Jordan: You just shot him! What are you going to do now!

Daisy: I'm going to Disney world. Hey! How about you shoot Tom and then we can start a Jazz review, it is the 1920's after all!

Jordan: Okay, lets be liberated women, Annnnnnnnd alllllll that Jaaaazz,

Together: THAT JAZZ!

All English professors in the world: Oy!

Myrtle: What happens to us now?

Gorge: only one thing to do.

Myrtle: What?

Gorge: Live the American dream, fill up our SUV and go to Wal-Mart.

Myrtle: I knew there was a reason I married you.


End file.
